I pretty much love everything
about coaching.
Except….
the too often irresponsible
use of “owning it”.
In coaching, we sometimes
encourage our clients
to “own” their behavior.
Good or bad,
positive or negative.
Landed a sweet promotion?
Don’t be shy—own it, baby!
Screwed up w/ your girlfriend?
Own it, dude.
Call her back and apologize.
It’s a useful way to encourage
people to take ownership and
responsibility for their
behavior and feelings.
My problem is when
owning it
becomes a substitute for
stopping it.
“I own that.”
is too often the
get-out-of-jail-free card
that is played whenever someone is
called on his/her shit.
Awareness is indeed the first step to change.
But it’s only the first step.
And, claiming to “own” your faults
gets you little credit until you actually
move toward changing the offending behavior.
As human beings,
we don’t expect each other to be perfect.
But we do make the assumption that
once we’ve declared our shortcomings–
be it chronic tardiness, selfishness,
know-it-alls, control freaks
relentless interrupters, temper losers,
gossips, bossy mcbossys
(see also control freaks), perfectionist
lazy asses or assistant drivers —
we’re all working hard to
move toward
not just owning it
but taming it.
