I love this line from Julia Cameron’s The Artist Way.
It’s a good reminder to:
“Ask for 100% of what you want, 100% of the time
and be willing to stay around long enough to negotiate the difference.”*
Not having an opinion doesn’t make you accommodating,
it makes you tedious.
Consider the friend (or you?) who says:
Any restaurant is fine with me.
You pick the movie.
Come over any time.
Now I have to do all the mental work of deciding
what we both might enjoy
and neither one of us may get what we want.
Failing to have an opinion is, in fact, to be inauthentic.
Meanwhile, authenticity is the quality everyone claims as
critical to his/her success and satisfaction.
True authenticity is a willingness to state an opinion
even when it’s unpopular.
It is to ask for what you want
even if it means being a little (or a lot) selfish.
Some of my clients routinely deny themselves pleasure
as a way to appear unselfish mainly to their spouse.
They forgo regular exercise, self-improvement classes,
dinner or drinks with friends
and leave in its place
boredom, anger and resentment.
“Afraid to appear selfish, we lose our self.”
*I am told this was said often by Laura Whitworth, one of the co-founders of the Co-Active Training Institute.