The Year of Asking Nicely

Some where in my coaches training

I learned the following:

behind every conflict

is an unarticulated request.

I think of this often when I become

blamey and whiney and

any of the other unflattering eys.

What is it that you want

and why can’t you ask for it?

And by you, as (almost) always, I mean me.

Somewhere between keeping my mouth shut,

more or less pretending I’m okay with it,

(be it kimchi* or late cancellations or nonfrothy lattes)

and losing my sh*t over not getting what I want

is the land of asking nicely.

What is so hard about that?

I find demanding people, well, demanding.

In an effort to not be that, I too often

error on the side of not asking for what I want

and therefore not getting it.


Or so it sometimes seems.

Or saying yes to something I should say (hell) no to

hoping the other person will respond in kind

down the road.

In my experience, that can be a pretty long road

paved with a lot of kimchi.

No more.

I’m declaring 2016

The Year of Asking Nicely.

“May I have an extra foamy latte, please,

and hold the kimchi.”


* I f*cking hate kimchi.

When “You Go, Girl!” Doesn’t Go Very Far

If You Wear It, Own It