Some where in my coaches training
I learned the following:
behind every conflict
is an unarticulated request.
I think of this often when I become
blamey and whiney and
any of the other unflattering eys.
What is it that you want
and why can’t you ask for it?
And by you, as (almost) always, I mean me.
Somewhere between keeping my mouth shut,
more or less pretending I’m okay with it,
(be it kimchi* or late cancellations or nonfrothy lattes)
and losing my sh*t over not getting what I want
is the land of asking nicely.
What is so hard about that?
I find demanding people, well, demanding.
In an effort to not be that, I too often
error on the side of not asking for what I want
and therefore not getting it.
Or so it sometimes seems.
Or saying yes to something I should say (hell) no to
hoping the other person will respond in kind
down the road.
In my experience, that can be a pretty long road
paved with a lot of kimchi.
I’m declaring 2016
The Year of Asking Nicely.
“May I have an extra foamy latte, please,
and hold the kimchi.”
* I f*cking hate kimchi.