Under normal circumstances,
I am not lacking in self-confidence.
Except for when the phone rings.
When I see a call come in,
I never think
“Hmm, wonder who that is?”
It’s more along the lines of
“What now?”
My assumption is always that I’ve done
something wrong.
Kind of like when I see a police officer
and think,
“Am I drunk?”
“Did I just steal something?”
When the phone rings
I get busy imaging
the client who can no longer work with me,
the man who no longer wants to date me
or the Federales who have stolen my children
and are demanding payment.
Why do I expect the worst?
Looking to popular culture as I often do,
I am reminded of the Soprano’s episode
where one-legged mistress, Svetlana Kirilenko,
(thanks, Wikipedia!)
tells a depressed Tony:
“That’s the trouble with you Americans,
you expect nothing bad to ever happen
when the rest of the world expect only
bad to happen. And they’re not disappointed.”
Followed by the next line, clearly the best line:
“You have too much time to think about yourself.”
My reaction, it seems, is just
good ol’ American self-absorption
combined with a hip Euro dark side.
Cool.
