Hot Coffee Coaching

In addition to my “regular” clients,
I coach coaches in certification.
A sometimes difficult concept
for new coaches to get
is the distinction between
making it happen
and letting it happen.
When I first became a Vistage Chair
I told my supervisor
that I was really more of the
“let it happen” kind of coach.
He didn’t like this very much
and misinterpreted to mean
I wasn’t into working very hard.
So not true.
Letting it happen is fanning the flame;
making it happen is throwing gasoline on it.
A colleague of mine, who has been spending
time in Canada, has a better metaphor.
You can’t be “squeezing the stick” he says.
A hockey term meaning you’re trying too hard.
Using this metaphor, I had my own epiphany.
While I have been letting it happen
professionally with great success,
I have been
squeezing the shit out of the stick
in my personal life.
For the better part of my adult life,
I have held relationships so tightly
for fear that,
if I loosen my grip,
the truth will emerge
and I will be forced to make a decision
I would rather not make.
Leaving me with a metaphorical black eye.