Fight or Flight

I have developed a seriously strong “flight” response.
In my early days, as an emotionally unpredictably creative director,
I was much more about the fight.
Loud and wildly unprofessional verbal hallway sparing.
Oh, how I loved the fight!
Back then.
It predictably produced unpredictable results
and, at the time, I believe earned me
a bit of a reputation for being “difficult”.
I’m much less difficult these days.
Only occasionally
snapping back with a saucy
or, if I’m really on my game,
withering response.
I recognize it instantly now.
And, most often, instantly regret it as well.
The result is I’m less volatile.
And, maybe more effective.
But, a girl’s gotta have an out.
So, when it’s fight or flight,
I now go into mental
fat storing,
rapid heart beating,
shallow breathing
flight mode.
Under my breath,
I spit things like
“Done. Done. Done.
I’m so done with this.
I’m so over this.
I’m so outta here.”
I rarely actually engage my flight response.
Coaching and leadership training
has taught me
the power and value of
Staying.
Staying in the conversation.
Staying in the relationship.
Staying long enough in the discomfort of the moment
in service of finding the common stake.

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This is Why You Don’t Kill Yourself