The Danger of Definites

My coaches training dovetailed nicely
(is there any other way to dovetail?)
with my years of copywriting and
again with my recent study of forensic psychology.
All three require the conscious and deliberate
use of language.
In my work as a coach, my ear is trained
to listen for absolutes and definites and
question them back to my clients:
No one hires anyone over 50.
Women don’t date bald men.
No one gets promoted here.
The danger in absolutes is they are often
easily proved false
which can damage personal and professional credibility.
Sharing definitive opinions disguised as fact
is a distraction that quickly can derail conversation
and reveal more about the accuser than the accused.
Often, but not always,
(see what I did there?)
it represents a closely held, self-limiting belief
that simply isn’t serving its holder.
When someone opens with an
opinion about something you know to be false
there’s no place for the conversation to go
but defensive.
Rather than agree with the unagreeable,
better to shift to curiosity
and what you and difininado
can agree on.
That way you’re not agreeing
Your bald friend is undateable,
nor are you claiming he is.

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