Buddy, Can You Spare Some Quality Time

Effective communication is
very important to me.
I believe, as author Susan Scott says,
Conversations are the relationship.
And, we’re always in relationship.
First with ourselves and then with others.
To help facilitate that understanding,
I distributed 20+ copies of
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
this holiday season.
It’s not my favorite relationship book,
mainly because Chapman’s
continual reference to
“keeping your love tanks full”
sounds queer
and because I find his
Christian finger-wagging at
the dangers of trying to satisfy
love irresponsibly (read: via sex)
unnecessary to this otherwise
straightforward communication model.
Chapman believes we each prefer & respond best to
one of five primary love languages:
Words of affirmation
Gifts
Acts of service
Quality time
Physical touch
in not just romantic relationships, all relationships.
It turns out, doing unto others
is not the way to go.
Unless, you happen to share
the same love language.
Better to figure out what
those with whom you share a relationship prefer
and get onboard with that.
Or, you can do like my client did.
Call me and say
“just tell me what to do.”
It’s my pleasure to provide that
act of service
in exchange for some quality time.

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What Gets Ritualized Gets Remembered

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Waiting for My Real Life to Begin