This is Why You Don’t Kill Yourself

Over the summer
I read the Twilight book series.
I held off as long as I could
having little interest in vampires,
science fiction
or even popular fiction
most of the time.
Then, while deeply committed
to the second or third book,
I had two distinct thoughts:
One, I’d date a vampire.
(please ignore this thought for the purposes of this post)
And two,
this why you don’t kill yourself.
Like everyone,
I’ve had some good years and bad years.
Okay. Decades. Of each.
And, what strikes me
again and again
is the magnificence,
pure pleasure and joy
that can bubble up when you least expect it.
Like reading the Twilight series from start to finish.
Or, the conversations and relationships that form
sitting at Matthew’s table
until morning turns into evening
and coffee turns into beer.
And, back again.
Or, yesterday running along the lakefront
on a breathtakingly beautiful fall morning
and stopping for coffee after.
For this, and many, many other reasons,
you train yourself to
notice and feel.
Notice the way the light plays in
stunningly beautiful photographs.
And, feel what you’re feeling
even if you weren’t expecting it and don’t understand it.
Let it in.

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Fight or Flight

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Whatever You’re Doing, It’s Probably Not a Good Idea